Tryna' Get Chose...

Editor's Note: This month's blog comes from a couple who discovered their romance after careful reflection and time with God. Their story reminds us that instead of "tryna get chose" we should choose ourselves--reflecting on God...

Background

 …Met her in high school. Interestingly enough, neither of us remember exactly what brought us into each other's airspace or what exactly got us to talking. What we DO remember is that once we got to talking it was easy. Chemistry was just…there. Not in a romantic way mind you, but we just clicked. It was easy. Easy to talk, easy to laugh, and easy to share details about ourselves. We have always had many mutual friends, but honestly, we never were in a situation where we were forced to talk to each other until sometime around our junior year.

Long story short, we became very strong friends very fast late in senior year and onward. Best friends. We didn’t get to really hang out much because she soon left the area to attend college out of state and also we were both in romantic relationships with other people at the time, but eventually that all changed and we became even closer.

Showtime

August 2012. Around this time is when I first started catching some feels little by little. I largely ignored it, but started entertaining the idea that hey, this could maybe work.

May 2013. This was graduation time! I had promised her that I would attend her graduation and I stuck to that promise. I ended up driving up to her university on an 8-hour road trip with her parents--just her parents and I. Needless to say, she was excited that I followed through with my promise. By this time feelings were in full swing but y’know…I had to play it cool. Went up, had fun, came back.

By October 2013, I decided to make a move. We had just finished hanging out at the movies one random Saturday night and while we were in the car I spilled the beans. I admitted everything. Full-stop. Essentially, I wanted her to be mine and I told her this. As you might have guessed it, her answer was a NO! It sucked and stung a bit but I didn’t hate her. I simply just fell back and our friendship diminished immensely for about a year and a half...I simply just had to get away and distance myself. I felt at the time that reducing the amount of time I was around her was necessary for my own sanity (whether you think that’s erroneous or not I don’t really care).

FELLAS. Shoot your shot! More importantly, shoot straight. Don't play games with her. Even if you get rejected 1) she'll respect you and 2) you'll walk away knowing exactly where things stand and can keep your head held high.
I realize now that I needed time to grow myself.  During that time I focused on me. I learned how to handle myself as a man, began saving for my house, grew both spiritually and professionally as well.

We began talking again and having brief discussions with each other again around December 2014. It wasn’t exactly the same as how we were when we were best friends, but it was at least something.

Then, April 2015 came around. This was the turning point and I’ll let her take it from here…

Honestly y’all, my feelings for him came from thin air. To give some backstory though, God had been working on me during our “18-month hiatus”. I too, did a lot of growing. I too, focused on me. I bettered myself and I submitted my love story to Christ. I gave up trying to navigate it all myself. I gave up trying to be in control. I threw away my list of qualities that I looked for in a mate - you know ladies, that list that we compare all guys to in order to see if they meet our standards? Yea, that one.  I stopped going on random, meaningless dates. I stopped watching movies and tv shows that would put me “in my feelings” and I even stopped listening to love songs. Psalms 16:8 says, “I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

I essentially guarded my heart and gave it to Christ and promised Him that I would wait for Him to place my heart in the hands of a man that He chose for me. I stopped being the girl that was “Tryna Get Chose” and became the girl who was focused and engrossed in “Choosing the One who Chose Her First”. “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings Psalm 17:8”. It was only after God did a number on my character and on my way of thinking that He wasted no time in bringing this guy into my thoughts to the point where I couldn’t stop thinking about him for weeks! I couldn’t ignore my abrupt feelings for him. I kept feeling what I believe was the Holy Spirit nudging me to say something so decided that it was MY turn to take MY SHOT! And that was the start to something beautiful. God’s timing is always perfect!
Ladies, when someone says that they are “submitting their life to Christ”, that includes the submission of their love life. Just give it to Him. He has your best interest ALWAYS in mind. However, you have to put in some work. Any time we cast our cares to Christ, there is always work on our end that has to be done. We have to do our part. If you are not healthy in mind, body, spirit, and soul, then what makes you think that, that is the type of guy you will attract?! Give it all to Christ and He will work it out.

Just make sure you remember that you are not perfect, nobody is perfect; so you should not expect a “Perfect Man”. However, what God WILL do is find you someone who is “Perfect for You”.  In James 1:16-17 it states, “So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father.

A lesson we both learned from this journey is that when you simply focus on bettering yourself, God will bless you. He’s got you! Things become clearer and you'll see certain things start to happen when you LEAST EXPECT IT. God’s timing is the best timing. It is important to be content in every season of your life. There is always something of value to learn, Keep your standards high. Demand excellence from yourself and for yourself. The blessings will come! The season of singleness is the perfect time to better yourself so that you can then contribute to the betterment of others. 2 Corinthians 8:7- "Since you excel in so many ways—in your faith, your gifted speakers, your knowledge, your enthusiasm, and your love from us—I want you to excel also in this gracious act of giving."  

Blessings,

-God's Chosen Couple